Relish and a Joke

You are unlikely to find this saucy little number in your local Chippy but you might overhear these old sores being repeated. ‘I have told you a million times not to exaggerate.’

So I went down the local supermarket, I said “I want to make a complaint, this vinegar’s got lumps in it”, The check out girl said “Those are pickled onions”.

The fast food shop at Windscale (you may call it Sellafield now but the name hints at how old my jokes are) is called “The Fission Chips.” It is called fast food so you eat it fast or otherwise you might taste it.

I’m in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won, The prize, a year’s supply of Marmite……… one jar.
A friend got some vinegar in his ear, now he suffers from pickled hearing.

Another deaf friend had an ear transplant from a pig now all he can hear is crackling.

If a White Russian ruler is called t’Tzar and his wife is t’Tarina are his children t’Tardines?

Mummy tomato went for a walk with the baby tomatoes consistently lagging behind, so she turned round and shouted ‘Ketch-up’.

Being overweight is something that just sort of snacks up on you.

A friend was standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place an order. There was a big sign posted that read, “No notes larger than 10 Euros will be accepted.” underneath was written “Believe me, if I HAD a note larger than 10 Euros I wouldn’t be eating here.”

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Yorkshire Bank Funding National Trust

Gardeners

The UK’s biggest ever plant hunt is underway with a survey that will cover tens of thousands of plants at more than eighty significant National Trust Gardens. The project is sponsored by Yorkshire Bank, sponsors of the Outdoor Programme which also includes help to conserve and protect National Trust gardens through investment in greener gardening initiatives.

Using the latest technology including GPS positioning to record plant locations over 1,000,000 plants are being recorded to give an overview of the largest collection of cultivated plants in the UK. Many of these plants tell the history of a garden’s creation, people’s passions and changing fashions through the centuries.

During the three year sponsorship deal Yorkshire Bank is also supporting the Greener Gardens initiative to improve the way both the Trust and its supporters can maintain gardens in more environmentally sustainable ways. This includes composting on an industrial scale, rainwater harvesting and reviving old wells, to experimenting with drought-resistant varieties of plants and introducing solar-powered lawnmowers.

It is good to see a bank putting something into more than just executive bonuses.

 

Locations from the National Trust Yorkshire section that you might like to visit include

Beningbrough Hall & Gardens
This imposing Georgian mansion contains one of England’s best baroque interiors. Over 100 pictures are on loan from the National Portrait Gallery. Outside there is a delightful walled garden and a fantastic adventure playground.


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Why Visit Pateley Bridge

Pateley Bridge

Walking the Hills and Dales of Nidderdale

  • Walk along the flowing River Nidd or cross the bridge for Afternoon tea at a local cafe.
  • For the more adventurous a special plaque in Pateley Bridge High street marks the start and finish of the Nidderdale Way, a circular route of some 53 miles
  • From St Mary’s churchyard up on the hill there is a grand view of the valley and some interesting and notable graves.
  • Around and about are visitor traps including How Stean Gorge, Brimham Rocks and Stump Cross Caverns but the best walks for me are the many solitary rambles over the hills towards Grassington or Masham.

Browsing The Town

  • Pateley Bridge is a market town that grew with local lead mining and now excels with colourful summer floral displays. It has won the Britain in Bloom competition a couple of times and should keep the trophy next time.
  • It is the home of the Nidderdale Festival and one of the country’s finest Agricultural Shows.
  • The narrow streets slope steeply up from the valley lined with shops, cafés, art studios, guest houses and the ever important public houses.
  • The main High Street dates to 18th and early 19th century with bow fronted shop windows and handsome classical porches that now offer visitors a variety of shopping experiences. England’s oldest sweet shop can be found here (or at least the oldest sweet shop in Pateley ed.).
  • Also worth seeing in the craft workshops are a glassblower, a jeweler and a potter, not forgetting a visit to Pateley Playhouse ‘Little Theatre of the Dales’.
  • High above the town are the ruins of the medieval St. Mary’s Church dating from 1321.

Nidderdale Museum

  • Nidderdale Museum shows how ordinary people lived, in imaginative and realistic settings.
  • There are sections devoted to Agriculture, Industries, Religion, Transport and Costume.
  • Visit Nidderdale’s living museum and see historic photographs and :
  • Cobbler’s Workshop
  • Schoolroom
  • Victorian Parlour
  • General Store
  • Costumes of the 19th & 20th Century
  • History of transport in the Dales

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Walking Close to Yorkshire History

Red Tower

Walking is one of the best ways to get close up to history.
You will get the time to consider how things you see came into being and how they relate to the then society.
Researching your walk will often tell you quite a bit about the surrounding area and what you can expect to see whilst walking around.
A restful drink at the end of the walk will give you further time to ponder on the decades, centuries and millennia that have gone before.

Red Tower York

I did too little research for my recent walk around the walls of York but the Red Tower had ample information boards and information was easy to obtain.
The only section of old York which does not have a wall is between Peaseholme Green and the Red Tower where in medieval times there was a huge fishpond . Called the Kings fish pond this formed part of the water defences of the city. The pool silted up in the 17th century and became part of the marshy land called Foss Islands.
The tower looks short and stumpy now because the foundations and lower stone work has been sunk below soil level.
Interestingly for lavatorially minded kids you can still see the Guarderobe or toilet projecting from the rest of the wall.
The Tower is built of red brick and was the cause or a rift between the stone masons guild and that of the builders. In 1492 two masons were implicated in the murder of builder John Patrick but were later acquitted.
The tower has been used for the manufacture of gunpowder, keeping it away from the rest of the city buildings. At that time it was called Brimstone House.

“Historic Walks in North Yorkshire” by Jim Rubery, who has only lived in Yorkshire since 1975, has a good selection of walks. He started writing for the climbing press in the early 1990s, but has had a regular walking column in Yorkshire Life magazine since 1995, entitled ‘Rambling with Rubery’.

Book Cover
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Partner-ignoringly Compulsive – Jojo Moyes Novel

Now the Euro  football is decided and the Olympics put to rest it may be your turn to be ‘Partner-ignoringly Compulsive’ by reading one of Jojo Moyes  fiction books.
Opening ceremony of Euro 2012

Preface to Yorkshire Book Club (A3)

Jojo Moyes has been a fulltime novelist for over 10 years and prior to that was a journalist at the Independent. As the ‘Arts and Media Correspondent’ for the Indy she covered an eclectic range of subjects that inform and reflect on her subsequent work.

Book Cover
Me Before You is Jojo’s latest romantic novel with a cast of characters who are charismatic, credible and utterly compelling.
Jojo is one of only a few authors to have won the Romantic Novelists’ Association’s Romantic Novel of the Year Award twice. This was for Foreign Fruit and “The Last Letter From Your Lover” but you may also like to read The Ship of Brides, Silver Bay, Night Music and The Horse Dancer.
The Sunday Express report that in Me Before You is ‘a profound, fundamental, thought-provoking conundrum (which) lies at the heart of the story, a huge moral dilemma, explored with great fictional finesse.’

Yorkshire God’s Own County Book Club Opinion

With over 500 pages this book has enough content to keep you in a state capable of ignoring your partner for the pleasure of your own reading.
Engrossing rather than literary Me Before You would make a good holiday read. Reviewers fight shy of finishing the book on a journey in case the emotions seep out through the tear ducts.
The Euro 2012 is over for ever but there is the World Cup in two years and a new Euro thereafter. That leaves plenty of time for some compulsive reading!

Book Club Type Questions for Consideration

How well does Jojo deal with the rights of disabled people.
Do you feel empathy with all the main characters?
Would you rather have been watching the Euro 2012 football?
Can the humour overcome the emotion in the last 10% of the book?

Footnotes

Strangely the Kindle version is more expensive than the paperback at £3.99. Have you noticed how Amazon now assume it is the kindle version you wish to buy and offer hardback and paperback as alternatives on a new click.
Sorry I found no direct link to Yorkshire. Jojo studied at City University in London.
Photo credit Opening ceremony of Euro 2012 by cattias.photos under creative commons BY-NC-ND 2.0

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Frizinghall and It’s Mucky Railway Station

Frizinghall

Frizinghall is now a suburb of Bradford but boasts it’s own railway station on the Ilkley and Skipton lines.

frizinghall station

The station strikes me as unique for a suburban station. The west bound platform shown in the photo is well west of the eastern platform. In fact you have to cross a busy road via flights of steps and meander down the road to swap over from one platform to the other.

station steps

The steps at both sides are very steep.

litter

Litter is a major problem at the station.
Fly tippers use the area for no good reason.
Travelers using the station drop litter and mustn’t be proud of their local area as this picture shows.
The railway company can’t be bothered to clean up! Shame on them!
The local council has paths and by-ways passing the station that are in a dirty state. Time they did some enforcement and cleaning-up.

Bill Bryson, author and president of the Campaign to Protect Rural England have published a guide on complaining about litter.
Bryson attacked rail companies for awarding millions of pounds in bonuses to senior executives while failing to spend money to protect the environment see more in the Guardian
Network rail blame the public saying ‘railways are a prime target for litter and illegally dumped rubbish by members of the public. When members of the public throw their litter on to the tracks or leave it at the stations or dump household & building waste on our land, it causes us health & safety problems. For example, litter attracts rats to the railway. Rats like to chew on signal cables as well as rubbish and this can lead to signal failures, delays & even accidents’.

Mucky Duck

Not far from the station is a pub to slake your thirst, the Black Swan known as the ‘Mucky Duck’.
The muck sticks around the station so lets hope someone gets their act together.
We should all Keep Britain Tidy. For those criminals who do not do so, the council or landowners including rail companies should clean up their act.

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Rainbow Yorkshire Memories

Spotted. Rainbows being fired from Leeds landmarks
Rainbows being fired from Leeds landmarks

Spotted. Rainbows being fired from Leeds landmarks
Rainbows still being fired from Leeds landmarks

Rainbow Over Wakefield
Rainbow Over Wakefield

halifax rainbow
Piecehall Halifax

utley rainbows
Utley Rainbows


Bradford Half Moon Rainbow

Rainbow - The Keep - Scarborough Castle
Rainbow – The Keep – Scarborough Castle

Sources Creative Commons Flickr
1&2 Richard Child
3. Rofanator
4. Bob the lomond
5. Jonsatticuk
6. Timsnell,
7. Cats 2007

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Birth of The Great Yorkshire Show

york Black Swan
Black Swan York

As Queen Victoria ascended the throne, British agriculture was entering a renaissance period. The landed gentry were investing heavily in what was becomming a growth industry. The great and good of Yorkshire were not to be out done as they met in The Black Swan York in October 1837. This event led to the formation of the Yorkshire Agricultural Society.

The Yorkshire Agricultural Society’s objectives were to arrange, at varying venues, ‘an annual meeting for the exhibition of farming stock, implements, etc, and for the promotion of agriculture’. (164 years later how do you think they are doing?)
The society’s first president and an active livestock breeder was Earl Spencer formerly Viscount Althorp (the titles sound familiar from somewhere). He was the Queens cousin and the show has enjoyed significant Royal patronage over the years. On Earl Spenser’s retirement it was said ‘he thereafter kept company with the creatures he most respected – his shorthorns, his sheep and the farming community’.
Other leading figures and families joined the Society including the Lane Fox’s of Bramhope Park and George Hudson Alderman of Your and Railway magnate.

Belted Galloways
Belted Galloways at the Show

The first show in 1838 was held at the Barrack Yard of the 5th Dragoon in York. It was so popular that scuffles broke out to gain entry and soldiers and police had to restore order. As a result of this show the societies membership grew to 800.
It was always intended that the show would move around the county and 1839 was held in Leeds followed by Northallerton and Hull then back to York in 1842.
1843 saw the show acclaimed for the first time as The Great Yorkshire Show.
For 1848 the Yorkshire Agricultural Society joined with the Royal Agricultural Society as a one-off extravaganza in Bootham Stray York. This large area was laid out with railway tracks reaching directly into the show ground. Prince Albert’s attendance drew massive crowds and the implement displays were one of the defining features.

Pontefract held the show once in 1860, Ripon in 1855 and by agreement the show moved annual between the North Riding, the Northern half of the West Riding, the East Riding and the Southern half of the West Riding.
In 1874 Sheffield hosted one of the best attended shows attracting 64,111 paying visitors but during the 1870’s there was a slump in agriculture and bad weather saw the Driffield show of 1875 only attract 27,149 attendees.
Bradford, not what I thought of as the heart of agriculture, held the show in 1901 and 1914 where the highest attendance was achieved until it was exceeded in 1956.

Halifax Agricultural Show 2010
Halifax Agricultural Show

Sources
Richard Sunderland, on Flickr
Belted Galloways by Jeheme
‘Great Yorkshire a Celebration of 150 Shows ED. David Joy.

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Flowers of Yorkshire

Rambling Rose

A white Rose – no surprise there then!

O'Keefee poppy

An opium poppy? I don’t think so!

garden rose

Another white Rose – it could become a habit, no it should become a habit.

Crocus

Spring brings my crocus in to focus.

White Rose of Yorkshire

Nearly missed the white Rose.

Canary Rose

A rose that hasn’t been taken as a county emblem as yet. They would need to fight a war over it first.

Vase of Roses

A bit of a white lie to call these white roses when the are no’but buds in a vase.

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Yorkshire Teaology

Yorkshire Tea

I am a fervent masher of tea although I have a brew in a mug on occasion.
‘Make us a mash’ is an invocation to perform wonders by pouring hot water onto tea leaves and leaving it to mingle until it turns to nectar.

For a horse, a mash is a warm mix of grain or bran and to brewers of beer a mash makes a wort from warm water and malted barley.

No sooner have we resolved to mash instead of brew our Yorkshire Tea when along came a learned article that recommends ‘steeping’ your tea. Steep it too long and it becomes stewed but you never stew your, tea or do you?

Teaology

  • Brew is top of the naming charts even if it is a tramps brew in the drinking mug.
  • Most tea leaves will produce a decent cup if you steep them all in boiling water. Properly called letting it mash.
  • ‘Many of the finer teas will do much better at lower temperatures. Green and white teas, for example, are more delicate and you get more flavour if you brew in slightly cooler water.
  • These steeping times are only approximate, and you should adjust them depending on your own personal tea taste.

Black tea – Black from Ceylon, India or Kenya is the most robust of the tea varieties and can be brewed in truly boiling water, usually steeped for 4-6 minutes.

Oolong tea – As to be expected, oolong tea falls between green and black. The best temperature is around 190F. But oolong should be steeped longer than black tea, for around 5-8 minutes.

Green tea – You will need to be more gentle with your green teas. The water temperature should be around 150-160F and only steeped for 2-4 minutes.’ In my local Chinese the the steeping goes on until the tea has all been drunk or has gone too cold to sup.Read more from Ask.com

Most average teas are brewed for 4-5 minutes to bring out the best flavours, any longer the tea over-brews and becomes bitter and stewed.

So that is settled ( or not) – let’s have a cup of char.

Teaology 2

The Daily Mash ( and that is for real) reported in 2008;
Strong tea is to be reclassified as a category B drug’.

Since tea was downgraded in 2004 there has been widespread concern about the increase in stronger varieties including Purple Haze, Tetley Red Bush and the infamous ‘skonk’.

Rejecting claims that the Home Secretary had been influenced by the Daily Mail‘s Campaign for Weak Tea, Ms Smith added: “Our police forces are all too familiar with the consequences of tea that has been left to stew for too long.”

Smith also unveiled a new Home Office guide to drug terminology in a bid to keep vulnerable young people fully informed. The latest terms include:
Skonk: Tea that has been left to stew in the pot for more than half an hour and then served with just a tiny drop of milk ………..

Also good reading whilst drinking on International brands like Yorkshire Tea

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