Yorkshire Winter Scenes

Some selected photos from different winter scenes in Yorkshire.

Yorkshire Sunrise in Winter

Morning sunrise, Christmas Day, 2010 over moors between Ilkley and Guiseley.

Yorkshire in Winter

Sheep benefit from early sun rays

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Gardening Blog of Yorkshire

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I also run a Gardeners Tips web site which uses as the  ‘root of my tips’ many of the plants and gardens in Yorkshire.
Obviously I recommend you visit the site, click on the green header for more posts and sign up for the RSS feed if you are so inclined.The Gloxinia photo is a double blind trial I am conducting on my web sites.

Spring Flowers

From the ‘root of my tips I branch out’ to one of Yorkshires great gardens Harlow Carr  and if you visit the RHS garden this month you will see and smell many of the Witch Hazels that are in copious flower.
Witch Hazel

Under the shelter of the walls at York you will find several clumps of Helebores or relatives of the Christmas Rose and Lenten Rose. The example was in the area behind the Quilt Museum sadly now closed but the art gallery continues.

helebore

With these two blogs I can indulge 3 of my passions, Gardening, Yorkshire and Internet publishing.

Kew Snowdrops

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Yorkshire Water Slime Busters

Book Cover

Our Christmas cooking and eating habits have put a strain on Yorkshire Water. Blocked sewers are the bane of a sewerman’s life. After Christmas when, all too often, left over fat is poured down our sinks we need the Yorkshire Water slime busters.
6000 fat related blockages have already been removed or busted in 2011 according to Pat Killgallon the pollution manager at Yorkshire Water. At this time of year it will get worse with the detritus of the season being flushed away.

Enter our biological warfare weapons in the form of trillions of bacteria designed to eat away at the grease mountain clogging our slimy pipes. Human gut bacillus bacteria have been cultivated and now released into the sewer network! Say goodbye to turkey fat, goose grease and cooking oil in at least 180 selected greasy drain sites as the bugs are poured (along with our money) down the drain. Turkey fat will be gobbled up by the bacteria.

‘Sewer blockages cost the water industry tens of millions of pounds a year, with many due to hot fat, oil and grease being poured down the drains and then solidifying. The fat also binds with non-biodegradable rubbish flushed down toilets, causing blockages which can make sewage flood back up into homes’. Is the use of this and other experimental bacteria a safe option? Well at least we do not live in Camelford.

Pat Killgallon goes on to say ‘the total amount of fat, oil and grease removed by the company from its sewers so far this year is estimated to be in the region of 2,000 tonnes – equivalent to the weight of 250 empty double decker buses or 400 average sized adult African elephants.’ Well you can’t eat the elephant in one bite as they say – no wonder they need trillions of breeding bacteria to cope.

It seems a long way from the 1950’s and before when Bradford’s sewage treatment plant made a profit from selling the fat it collected from the sewage it treated at Esholt.
Bradford produced large quantities of lanolin from the wool that local industry treated. This was collected at the sewage works and sold to make soap, wax and cosmetics including lipstick. (There is a tasty thought!) This processing of sewage made Bradfords water company the only sewage company in the country to make a profit out of the soild slime.

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Pat Kirkwood is Angry

Book Cover
Being remembered more for an alleged affair with the Duke of Edinburgh than a glittering career as a musical actress could make anyone angry!
Her fourth husband, Peter Knight, a former president of the Bradford and Bingley Building Society, said: “She never once complained to me, or to anyone else, about the lack of official recognition, though I know it hurt her very deeply” angry again I guess.
One newspaper headline called it ‘The Duke and the Chorus Girl Affair’. Pat displayed her anger by retorting ‘I had never been in the Chorus in my life’, she was always a showgirl and musical success story.

This anger is being channeled into a new show funded by Opera North. It is written by and stars Yorkshire actress Jessica Walker. There is a lot of material to develop about Pat Kirkwood, who died in Ilkley on Christmas Day 2007 aged 86.

Career Highlights and Low Lights

  • There had been affairs with President John F. Kennedy’s brother-in-law, actor Peter Lawford, and also with Danny Kaye.
  • In 1944, she is reputed to have sung with Glenn Miller and his orchestra, only days before Miller vanished.
  • Flirting with Hollywood, MGM put her under contract but thought she needed to lose weight, and prescribed pills that had a disastrous effect.
  • Pat Kirkwood suffered a severe nervous breakdown and was committed to a sanatorium in New York for the best part of a year.
  • In a career spanning more than 60 years she starred in leading roles in musicals written by Noel Coward, Cole Porter and Leonard Bernstein and was more successful in the UK than America.
  • In pantomime she was a dashing principal boy with legs to drool over.
  • Pat co-stared with George Formby in Let George Do It but found the experience totally unedifying as George was lacking in conversation and under the thumb of his controlling wife. There are conflicting ideas about Pat’s view of George but Beryl Formby was a tartar.

When Pat Kirkwood died on Christmas Day 2007, the world-wide media coverage focussed on two things: her fabulous legs, once described by Kenneth Tynan as the eighth wonder of the world, and her rumoured relationship with Prince Philip. If you get a chance the new show called fittingly ‘Pat Kirkwood is Angry’ will display more talent than invective.

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Why Seven Man Made Wonders of Yorkshire

Yorkshire Sculpture Park

In 2006 the BBC started a new series ‘Man Made Factor’ or ‘Britain’s got Man Made Talent’. The public were asked you to nominate their favourite man made wonders in each region via BBC local radio stations and BBC websites.

The seven most popular man made wonders that the BBC then selected for Yorkshire included Chatsworth which I thought was in Derbyshire and Lincoln Cathedral surely in Lincolnshire the last time anyone looked. The BBC needs to think of a new series based on geography perhaps it could be called Location, Location, Location.
The BBC’s selection for the North East and Cumbria included our Richmond Castle which never made the God’s Own County short list.

2015 is an appropriate time to revisit our own list and refresh our selection

Putting The BBC Right

Our mission should we chose to accept is to find and justify our selection of Seven Man Made Wonders of Yorkshire! Easy to find a list harder to narrow it down to just seven.
Before we start it is worth exploring the phrase ‘man made’. As the range of photographs shows I have taken a literal view of man made men and show some Yorkshire sculpture Park images. Little did I know that the TV characters such as the Flowerpot Men and Kermit were from Yorkshire.

sitting man
‘Sitting Yorkshire Man after creating 7 wonders.’

Our Magnificent Seven

York Minster, Walls and Railway Station – It is too hard to choose just one part of York. We could have just gone for seven man made wonders of York.

Fountains Abbey and Studley Royal – Our first full report linked here

Thornborough Henge – Near Ripon is an oldie from the BBC list that I have to admit had passed me by until now. I have chosen to couple it with the Dry Stone walls of our county as a bit more modern man made but not by much.

The Ribbleshead Viaduct – Another Yorkshire based international railway treasure. Seven Man Made Wonders of Yorkshire Ribblehead Viaduct

Salts Mill To celebrate our industrial heritage although we could have selected seven from a multitude of Yorkshire’s industrial wonders. Salts Mill Seven Man Made Wonders of Yorkshire

Hull Docks & Maritime Activity – Selected to embarrass the BBC again because they chose Grimsby Docks. I can’t explain better than quote from the T shirt “Grimsby is not in Yorkshire” ‘This is not one of those subjective, poetically licensed claims of geography by which people express regional pride or national identity, and/or various degrees of dissatisfaction with existing administrative arrangements. It isn’t like saying “I’m from Texas – which country are you from?” or “Death to the Leicestershire imperialist scum! Freedom for Rutland!” It is a straightforward statement of fact. Grimsby is not, nor has it ever been, part of Yorkshire. read the rest of this interesting diatribe on Cod Almighty.

Aire Calder Navigation & Leeds Liverpool Canal – I know a bit of the canal runs through that other funny county. This is just a runner up in case I think of something better or get a better suggestion from a reader.

Molecule Man
Wholly in appropriate Men.

Photo credits
Yorkshire Sculpture Park by socialBedia CC BY-NC-ND 2.0
sitting man by clogsilk CC BY-NC-ND 2.0
Molecule Man by FlickrDelusions ‘Jonathan Borofsky at the Yorkshire Sculpture Park’ CC BY-NC-SA 2.0
Frog @ Peace Gardens, Sheffield by timparkinson CC BY 2.0

Frog @ Peace Gardens, Sheffield
Mayor for Sheffield?

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Getting Away From Yorkshire

LBA 051

My favourite departure points from Yorkshire are Leeds Bradford Airport (LBA) or Yeadon as I still call it and the Hull ferry terminal at King Georges Dock.

Jet 2 operate from several UK airports but have a very good selection of destinations leaving and importantly returning to LBA. I have just returned from Tenerife where I went for some November sunshine. I chose a Jet2 package holiday on an all inclusive deal and found it as cheap or cheaper than when I had made my own arrangements.
The LBA airport taxis are a stitch up and are far more expensive and cumbersome to book than SJK a commercial operator. The airport mafia force commercial taxi drivers to drop you at the back of the car park but the cost saving and evasion of blackmail is worthwhile. See LBA Costa Packet Airport report.

Tenerife 271

As you can see the landscape in Tenerife was nothing like Yorkshire. The highest mountain was over 12,000 feet high, a good bit higher than Ingleborough, Whernside and Pen-y-ghent put together but then they only have one mountain and it is a volcano!
The 4 hour flight each way was fine despite a heavy landing in wind when we got back to LBA and Yorkshire brewed beer.

bruges 003

In 2011 I have been lucky enough to travel to Holland on the ferry from Hull to Rotterdam (and from Newcastle to Amsterdam with the badminton club but that is another story). It was blinking cold and I was glad to get back on the boat and back to Hull dock the following morning. There are some great deals on P&O particularly mid week in winter on a 2 for 1 basis. At least you feel you are getting a good deal even though the Euro left me feeling even colder.

Having said all that it is not to say that Robin Hood Airport Doncaster Sheffield is not a good departure venue. Indeed Co-op Holidays in conjunction with Robin Hood Airport allow you to book your holiday easily online, with 100’s of low cost and charter airlines available, you can select from a huge range of suitable flights and also choose your ideal hotel or apartment.

Departure points to avoid include the M62 west and all other roads leading to Lancashire. I also hope to avoid the crematorium departure point for a good few years yet.
The best part of leaving Yorkshire is knowing that you will be coming back!a

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Bark in Golden Acre Park

golden acre gardens leeds

This is not a feature on tree trunks outer covering. Dogs are involved but barking is not obligatory. In fact barking at the ducks and wildfowl is to be discouraged.
‘Bark in the Park’ is an annual fund raising event for St Gemma’s hospice in Leeds which provides specialist medical and nursing care for people with life threatening illnesses, predominantly cancer, along with support for their families.

What and When of Bark in the Park

The event will be held on Sunday Sunday 28th February 2016 in Golden Acre Park, and Temple Newsam Leeds. Registration is at 9.00am.
The Sponsored Dog Walk will take you around the picturesque lake, woodland and gardens of Golden Acre Park in Leeds.
There is a choice of a one, three and six mile walk, so you can choose whichever route is most suitable for you and your four legged friend!
The event is a fun family day suitable for dogs and owners of all ages and abilities.
Entrance to the walk is free, all we ask is that you and your dog raise as much as you can in sponsorship money.
All participants must register in advance of the walk. Once you have registered we will send out a sponsorship pack, which includes further details about the event.
A special prize will be awarded to the dog that has raised the most money bu 1st April 2012 (No April fools jokes, hospice funding is a serious business.)
Details and registration pack here
On completion of the walk every dog will receive a certificate and goodie bag!

golden acre gardens leeds
‘Barking up the wrong tree’

Barking mad this derivation is just a neat 1980s joke at the expense of Margaret Thatcher. She was known by those who disliked her as ‘Daggers’ Thatcher – not from a reputation for stabbing colleagues in the back, but because she was said to be ‘three stops past Barking’. [Dagenham is three stations beyond Barking on the London Underground]

Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun.
The Japanese don’t care to, the Chinese wouldn’t dare to,
Hindus and Argentines sleep firmly from twelve to one,
But Englishmen detest a siesta,
In the Philippines there are lovely screens,
to protect you from the glare,
In the Malay states there are hats like plates,
which the Britishers won’t wear,
At twelve noon the natives swoon, and
no further work is done –
But Mad Dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun.
(Noel Coward)

 

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Wakefield Tattoos

When you go to the barbers in Wakefield you may get more than a haircut. This was the second tattoo parlour I had seen within 300 yards and I was nearly tempted to have a piercing (of my own self-importance?). Instead I opted for a tattoo in invisible ink.

I am going to revisit Wakefield this week after a 5 year gap!

Last weekend was the Tattoojam at Doncaster Race Course. For more information and so you don’t miss other events try the Tattoo Club of Great Britain

‘Lasers have expanded the clinician’s ability to treat decorative, cosmetic and traumatic tattoos without scarring. Previous methods of gross tissue removal with resultant scarring have been replaced by highly selective removal of tattoo pigment with minimal changes in skin texture or pigmentation’. According to Hair & Beauty World in Mytholmroyd but at a heafty cost per square inch.

 

A history of Military Tattoos is available from militarytattoo.org web site including this definition tattoo noun (pl. tattoos) 1. an evening drum or bugle signal recalling soldiers to their quarters. 2. a military display consisting of music, marching, and exercises. [from Dutch taptoe, shutting off of taps, signalling the closing of taverns at the end of the day]. From my experience Wakefield is very late in turning off the beer taps and closing the taverns

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White Rose Forest Four More Green Quangos?

tree

The White Rose Forest organises working parties from a wide range of organisations who collaborate to identify, develop and deliver “on the ground ” projects.
One initiative of the forest campaign is to allow individuals to be able to mark special occasions with a donation to ‘Trees for Yorkshire’. £10 buys two trees planted in either Scammonden Water or Dalton Bank. Once the tree has been planted you will receive a personalised Certificate of Dedication with a map showing where the site is plus a photograph of the planted areaand an invite to a ‘walk and talk’ event.

Partners in the White Rose Forest

Bradford District has thirty six public parks, over one hundred recreation grounds, more than one hundred and forty play areas and large areas of woodlands,

Calderdale has a contrasting landscape ranging from the urban areas around Halifax and Brighouse to the high moorlands of the South Pennines in the west of the district. This includes Hardcastle Craggs and Broadhead Clough and Cromwell Bottom nature reserve.

The aim of thier part of the White Rose Forest is to integrate trees and woodland, together with associated habitats, with the urban, urban fringe and rural environments. Hetchell Wood includes area managed as coppice and contains areas of managed limestone grassland whilst  Adel Dam is a bird paradise.

The National Trust owned Marsden Moor Estate cover the high Pennine moors above Marsden, Meltham and Holmfirth, while to the north and east the landscape becomes gentler with fields and woodlands. Honley woods are privately owned ancient semi-natural woodland, with public access.

New Miller dam country park covers 94.33 acres of woodland and water. It is a designated an area that is a Site of Scientific Interest. Haw Park Wood is a 73 hectare ancient replanted woodland

 

Wood Fuel and Yorwoods

 
White Rose Forest also actively promotes wood fuel and can answer questions such as; Where do I buy woodfuel, How much does woodfuel cost compared to fossil fuels? Why is woodfuel carbon lean? How much space will a tonne of woodchip need?
What is the calorific value of wood pellets? and What is the Renewable Heat Incentive?
Yorkshire Woodfuels Ltd is a not for profit company of woodland owners and woodfuel suppliers. The scheme is run throughout the Yorkshire and Humber region. The main propose is to create a group of private and public sector timber growers, and forestry and arboricultural contractors with long term forest and tree management interests with the specific intention of supplying small round wood and other wood products for woodfuel.

YORWOODS are a public funded woodland initiative working in partnership with the Forestry Commission and local authorities.
Yorwoods chairs the Working Woodlands Group, whose focus is to help enable the sustainable management of woodlands in West Yorkshire
Yorwoods organises a ‘Moorland Burning Workshop’ to be run by the National Gamekeepers Organisation and is designed for those who already have some training or experience in burning practices. It is followed by an equipment demonstration. The training day is scheduled for 24th February 2012. Link

Biomass Energy Centre is a partner in the White Rose Forest initiative they say ‘There are many different forms of biomass fuel obtainable from trees, but they are all categorized as virgin wood provided they have not been used for another purpose.’

Brodsworth Hall
Brodsworth Hall Oak

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Business Names and Onomastics

Onomastics the study of names.
Smack shop

The company who wrote my will was ‘Godloves Solicitors’ it was not the start of a religious tract but a reference to the naming of a Leeds business now merged with other lawyers. Perhaps I should plead the fifth amendment and use the American Lawyers ‘Dewey, Cheatham, & Howe’.

A bête noire of mine is the way Barbers and Hairdressers have to find the worst puns to name their  businesses and here are just a short (back and sides) selection to get your hair to stand on end;

Ali Barber is pipped in my poll by Julius Scissor originally The Million Hairs
His and Hairs or Miss Tress have some potential to be The Mane Man
Cliptomania or Clip Joint make you want to Curl Up & Dye which is anything but A Cut Above
The Greatful Head or their vocal neighbour Hairway To Heaven is just Clippity Do Da
Hair of Respectability is now needed to be prepared for The Hair-After

Web site names are now a potential source of embarrassment and ‘punditry’ so take extra care when selecting your domain name. Pen Island a company selling pens on the web at  www.penisland.net.  Kids might look nice in their Childrens’ Wear, but remember www.ChildrenSwear.co.uk or Powergens Italian web site (apocryphally) was www.powergenitalia so watch out.

To save you having to look it up (as I had to do) Onomastics is the study of names.

Ghost Butcher
This butcher hasn’t the ghost of a chance

Thread bare
The creator of this name should be carpeted.

Posted in Our Yorkshire, Wit and Humour | 2 Comments